Ted Talk

You know that time of night where everything is silent. The world is asleep and the moon sings its lullaby to the critters scurrying across the ground. Cars chugs along to a destination that may or may not bring them to a place called home. People are out on the town, stumbling on the sidewalk, giggling with their friends. All the while, the trees outside your bedroom window sway to the beat of the winds melody and the low hum of the dishwasher sings downstairs as the soft air dances around the house. 

And here you are, laying in bed, wide awake, wondering how it got so quiet when the world is so full of people. How there are people awake, sleeping, celebrating, yet you feel empty. You have been so accustomed to the banging of pots and pans in you brain that silence, is unsettling. What happens now? How do you compete with the silence? 

First off, we can establish that silences can either be peaceful or deadly. 

Silence is peaceful when your mind and body are in harmony. When people are watching the sunrise or sunset or playing a game of chess or reading, cooking, spending time with loved ones—this is when you feel the lightest, the most carefree, and the silence is welcomed. You feel okay in these moments. 

But, at this time of night, when the sun rests and the stars perform, you want the noise back. To have the conveyor belt of thoughts to return and have something to fill the blank canvas that is currently bleeding from your head to your toes. This, is the silence that is deafening. 

Some try to numb it. Others feel it. And most, ignore it. Silence is inevitable, and the more you run from it, the worse it gets. Nobody wants to feel as if they are alone, facing an endless tunnel of the abyss. This begs the question of what do you do?

You’ve got to acknowledge the silence. Know it is uncomfortable, but choose to stay instead of running. That is one of the bravest things you can do. To ignore every fiber of your being telling you to ignore, block out the feelings of discomfort, shove them into a bottle, tightening the cap with a wrench and put the bottle into the darkest corner in your mind. 

Once you’ve acknowledged the silence, you cannot let it control you. The unspoken whispers will caress you face, begging you to let them in. They will swirl around you, until you are dizzy and disoriented. Don’t give in to their promises of safety and comfort. They aren’t true.  

Then you’ve got to feel it. Feel and sit with the silence. What does it feel like? Guilt? Anger? Anxiety? Sadness? Suffocating heaviness? It’s no fun having to swim in the pool of emotions you would rather wash away. Society is telling you to shove the bad stuff aside. I disagree. You have to open your eyes, or close them, to be able to move forward

Through all of this, breathe. Your chest will expand and your ribs will grow strong as oxygen filters in. Your body will do the work, and all you have to do is inhale. 

Now, you have to move forward. The claws like iron will slip away and things won’t seem as heavy anymore. The only catch is, the silence won’t stay away. But you get to decide how much control you give it.